Thursday, February 3, 2011

Preparing for Surgery..aka..how many "Last Meals" can I eat?????

OK... so surgery is less than 3 weeks away!  Have my final doctor's appointment this afternoon to get my Pulmonary clearance.  All my paperwork has been sent in and I will be all set. 

My problem is I can't get over this feeling that I need to eat everything and anything I see now!  I've done really well in weaning off my diet cokes and caffeine (one a day now - and several days of no diet cokes at all).  But everytime I eat I think... well, better enjoy this - won't be able to have it again!  I'm going to blow up like a balloon in the next two weeks if I'm not careful!

I made a conscious decision not to tell a lot of people that I was having the surgery - just didn't want everyone knowing all my business... and I know a lot of people think that this is taking the easy way out.  But really, I don't see it as being any different than doing weight watchers or Nutrisystem, etc. - it's a tool and if I don't use the tool in the way it was intended, I'm not going to lose weight.  The biggest difference I see is that this tool makes it a little harder to "cheat".  But I know from going through this with my hubby that it is possible (and quite easy I might add) to gain weight with a lapband!

The other day my BFF told me that I was her motivation - I've never been anyone's motivation for anything before!  Maybe that's an extra added benefit that I didn't count on - but if we can motivate each other and be a support to each other throughout this journey, I'm all for it! 

Stay tuned...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Beginning My Journey

So... I forgot to mention in my background post that I have dealt with weight issues almost my entire life!  Honestly, I don't remember a time I wasn't overweight, although I have seen pictures from my childhood and apparently I wasn't a fat kid!

But for as long as I can remember (at from middle school age on), I have been self-conscious about my weight - and my self-esteem has suffered because of it.  I'd lose weight from one diet or another and then it would come back on. Growing up, family dinners were a part of my life - and they weren't exactly healthy by today's standards - bread was served at every meal (even if it was just plain ol white bread with butter) and a meal wasn't complete without potatoes or some other starch.  I've always enjoyed salads and veges, but obviously, not as much as I should have!  Evenings were spent watching tv with popcorn or chips and dessert (but with diet soda).

As an adult, I've tried to lose weight.  Weight Watchers, Atkins, low-fat, low-carb, the list goes on and on.  But it always comes back and likes to bring it's friends with it.  Today I am at my heaviest weight ever (but I'm not saying what that is).

My husband was also overweight, which didn't help matters.  We would diet together until one of us would give up.  But about 2 1/2 years ago, he decided to make a change - and had the lapband surgery.  It was a struggle the first year for him, but something clicked after his one year bandiversary and he's now lost over 130 pounds!  He looks and feels terrific and has given me the motivation to do it too! 

Don't get me wrong, I don't ever anticipate anyone calling me skinny...but I need to be healthier - get off the meds for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar and be able to enjoy all the things life has to offer.  My goal is to lose 100-135 pounds. 

So last year I attended the informational seminar and met with the surgeon who did DH's surgery (Dr. Gellar in Louisville).  Insurance required me to have 6 months of physician monitored weight loss attempts... so I started those monthly visits in July.  The last one was in December so I got all my paperwork turned in and went for my consultation at the weight management center on Jan 18.  They told me they would send everything to Dr. Gellar and touch base with his office at the end of the following week.

So imagine my surprise when I got a call from Dr. Gellar's office on the 21st telling me everything had been approved and I was scheduled for surgery on 2/22/11!!!!  I literally jumped for joy!

Last week was my pre-op testing and this week I've been cleared by the cardiologist and have the last appointment with the pulmonologist on Thursday for clearance.  After that, it will be just waiting - something I'm not very good at!

For the past week, I've been watching every YouTube video I can find from others who have gone through this journey and have been so inspired!  It's not the easy way out that so many people think it is... it's simply a tool to help me achieve my goals.  I know it's not going to be easy - I have seen what my hubby has gone through, as well as friends who have had the procedure... but if the past couple of years have taught me anything, they've taught me that things will only change if I make them change!  I have to take the chance and put myself out there!

Stay tuned...

A Little Background....

This is a first for me.... deciding to share my story and my journey for all the world to see (well, those who find me anyway).  Thought I'd start with just a little background on me...

I've been married to the most wonderful husband for over 21 years - something I'm very proud of!  We met in 1985 and have been together ever since...He is my rock!  We don't always see eye-to-eye on everything, but he's the only one I want to have next to me everynight.  I can't imagine how my life would've turned out without him.

In 1998, we expanded our family with our beautiful daughter.  She is the joy of our lives.  She's 12 now and we are getting to now experience why my mom always said "just wait till you have kids of your own"!  Although, for the most part, she is a good good girl.  Frustrating at times, but a good girl.

For most of my life I have been content to do things they way they should be done - nothing extraordinary and nothing extreme.  Our life was comfortable and good - with a group of friends that had been around forever that we did everything with.  Then, a couple of years ago, I started feeling like there was something else out there for me.  I had made a major career switch back in 2007 - after 15 years of fundraising and nonprofit management, I decided I really just didn't like asking people for money.  So I took a position as a project manager for a technology company and found that I liked the position (but not really the company).  Around this same time, I found myself pulling further and further away from the friends I'd had forever. 

Boredom?  maybe.  But more than anything, I discovered that we really just didn't have a lot in common anymore - and the longer I didn't do anything about it, the more miserable I became.  So hubby and I decided to venture out and meet some new friends, much to the chagrin of our old buddies, and we haven't looked back! 

Last year I decided to take a real plunge and leave the security of my job to go to work for a friend of mine who was starting a new venture.  Talk about scary!  And I'd like to say it's gotten less scary over the past year, but that's not true.  We are dependent on other people to get things done and it's taken longer than expected.  But we do see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm confident it is not a train!

So that's a little background on me and my life.  Kinda like a prologue... the real story is just beginning...stay tuned!